The Sky Is Falling
...Figuratively and Literally.

Well, it's always seemed rather ridiculous that 80 ton metal ships can fly, anyway. Now, it is finally being proven that belief in the myth was one of the elements enabling such a ridiculous victory over gravity to occur. As national hope is tumbling, so are the nation's aircrafts. As it turns out, airplanes simply cannot fly during a recession.

Within the last two months, three aircrafts have crashed. (December 20, 2008, one skidded off the runway of the Denver International Airport and burst into flames. January 15, 2009 - we all remember those birds beating that plane into the Hudson. Then, February 12, 2009 - plane from Newark mysteriously crashed over a house near Buffalo.) And now space trash is colliding and causing fireballs to fall over Texas.

Don't forget that buses aren't safe either. And the city's most reliable G train is slowing to a halt. Good thing you can only afford to walk, anyway.