Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Starbucks Cuts Employees' Hours, Makes Up Difference In Free Fancy Coffees
Read: the end is near...


...For all of us. Starbucks, famous for being one of the best employers in America (and for insuring even half-time employees), is cutting the hours of many of its workers. Expected promotions are not going through, and some employees' hours are dropping to levels that disqualify them for benefits.

The company is consoling its shocked workers by allowing them to drink fancy espresso drinks, once only discounted, for free. And thank god for that, because most of the Starbucks employees, when called into private meetings with managers to voice their concerns, stated that their greatest fear was that they might not be able to afford their daily Grande Nonfat Half-Caf Peppermint Mocha Twist. Problem solved.

Really, the Starbucks cuts are cause for major concern. Starbucks has taken over the country, and is now crumbling with it. Many of the naively optimistic unemployed have been taking solace in the fact that a Starbucks job would give them health insurance, and that Starbucks would always be there. The idea of Starbucks suffering from the economy seems to scare me more than the thought of large banks going under.

Is it time to bail out the people yet?

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